Hello therapy!

14 Apr

Thank you wordpress, for giving me a place to vent. Oh lordy, I need it right now. 

Lennon’s teacher is giving me so much anxiety, I can barely take it. I have called her three times now and I also sent her an email, this has been over three weeks. One of those weeks was spring break though, so I guess i’ll give her a break with that one, but seriously. I know she has gotten my messages. She called me and left me a message about Lennons evaluation, or rather, that they finally decided he should have one. I have brought this up to them a few times before. To the speech therapists before school started and to Lennons teacher. I just feel if he can get evaluated through the school, then that is definitely the best way. They actually know him, i’d rather have them do it than some doctor who has only been in his presence for a couple of hours. So anyway I missed her call three weeks ago… dammit. Why oh why did I do that? Why?! Now I am suffering and I know i’ll have to walk my ass in there because apparently I am being ignored.

These are the things that bother me. Its things like this. Its other people and its me. I have problems dealing with things because I desperately need therapy (which I am very close to getting) and other people constantly let me down that are supposed to help me and help Lennon. How is it that everyone I came in contact with from the school seemed so unable to help me? Couldn’t they tell I was so scared and confused? When speech therapists come to your home from the school for the first couple of times, they should tell you exactly what to do. They are the first “knowledgeable” people you come into contact with when you first have questions about your child’s possible diagnoses and their development.

They should say, we know you are worried, you are scared and confused. Here is a list of resources that may be of some help. Here is a list of support groups, this is how you go about receiving help. Nope. That is not at all what happens. Then I call Lennons teacher and wonder, where can I receive support? I ask about the evaluation and she tells me they usually only do one after years of him being in the program. You have to be kidding me! I don’t expect everyone at the school to KNOW EVERYTHING I just expect them to know the basic things that will help families. Not frustrate and confuse them. 

It seems that everything I ask is met with a “oh, I don’t know” kind of response. Do you recommend any day care facilities in the area? Do you know where I can get Lennon evaluated? Do you know how I can go about doing that through the school? 

“oh, I don’t know”

Wow. 

Seriously, someone give me a manual on how to deal with the school! Also, the whole not calling me back or emailing me back thing! How about a courtesy call? Just tell me you don’t have time to answer my questions right now and you’ll get back to me soon, anything, please. I have not been crazy towards her, I have just been asking simple questions I expect her to know, I ask her nicely. My email was just like, hey, I have called you a couple of times, i’m sure you’re busy but I just want to know more about the eval you left me a message about. I left my cell number (which she definitely already has). That was it. So what in the hell gives?? If they are too busy to call parents back then they should not be doing what they are doing. I didn’t even freak out on her about the diaper changing thing. I was WAY too nice about that. I don’t even know why. 

What are my rights here? Do I need an advocate or am I advocate enough, because I feel like i’m failing miserably. 

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3 Responses to “Hello therapy!”

  1. eiserty April 14, 2013 at 4:26 pm #

    Hi Erin – I feel for you. My son has an IEP and while I am no expert, this is what I know. I know that every 3 years they do a re- evaluation (testing). My son was evaluated at 3 and then will have a re-evaluation at 6. I know the school must respond to a request for meeting related to the IEP with in so many days. When we have had meetings related to my son’s IEP besides his teachers and therapists being in the meeting we have an LEA representative (Program Coordinator). She makes sure all the rules and regulations are followed during the meeting. However I do not know what this person is called in your state (I’m assuming you don’t live Illinois).

    We meet every year to update my son’s IEP. On my son’s IEP the diagnosis is developmental delay not Autism. I am ok with this for now. I have been advised not to change the diagnosis because this could change how my on is treated. The general feeling is as long as they are meeting his needs at this point the diagnosis is not necessary on his IEP.

    If I was in your shoes I would make sure every correspondence is put in writing. Which it sounds like you have. In addition if you feel like the teacher is not responding I would call the Program coordinator or the person who over sees IEP’s. I would also make sure you email her so you have documentation. You could also reach out to the district or your department of education t find out what your legal rights are. You may even want to document in your email that you know by law you are entitled to a response in so many days after you make a request to update your son’s IEP.

    I have found this IEP business very confusing. Thus far the school that my son goes to currently has been on top of things but I know that this is the exception rather than the rule.

    And this is just a side not I started therapy back in January and it has helped me so much. When you have a child with Autism it helps talk through all your thoughts and feelings. I am also a therapist by career so I am all for counseling.

    I hope this helps. 🙂 At the very least know you are not alone. This is a challenging journey. BTW love your blog! Oh, hope this all makes sense trying to send this to you while my son is playing in the room.

    • eml2187 April 15, 2013 at 3:30 am #

      Thank you so much for replying to my post! It means a lot that you would take the time to give me all of that information, and I agree, I really need someone in there with me when we go over the IEP again. Sometimes I think I may be moving too fast, and then i’m not sure. I know for a FACT Lennon has autism. If you go down the list of “symptoms” or behaviors associated with it, he has them all besides probably three. The only reason I want this diagnoses so desperately is because I feel he deserves a proper diagnoses, his rightful diagnoses. He is listed as early childhood developmentally delayed at the moment but I know his proper diagnosis is autism. His teacher told me that this diagnosis will not change the way he is taught at school or how his therapy operates, but if he is diagnosed by the school at least that may open doors to other types of therapy. He could really use feeding therapy and any kind of therapy that would improve his communication. If getting him diagnosed would not open doors for him then I guess we can wait, I just want to improve his chances for therapy that will benefit him. The reason why I want it done through the school or the reason I want the school diagnosis is because they know him. I am terrified to go somewhere to get him diagnosed where they don’t know him, I want him to behave like himself and not be scared or etc. for his diagnosis.
      Thanks so much for writing to me though, I’m glad i’m not the only one confused by all this, but I am very sad that we have to be confused in the first place! Thank you for your suggestions and letting me know i’m not alone in this, hopefully you know you’re not alone either!

  2. meredith0929 April 15, 2013 at 6:23 pm #

    Well, I have had good luck so far with IEPs and educators, so I don’t have first hand experience. I agree about contacting your program coordinator. My daughter has Down syndrome and I find tons of support through our local Down syndrome association. Perhaps you could find a local resource for parents of children with Autism, or possibly contact you local chapter of the Arc or Easter Seals. I know a lot of parents get information reguarding legal rights from http://www.wrightslaw.com/. Good luck!

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