Sometimes, this just seems way too self-involved.

17 Mar

I just started crying, but I cut myself off and stopped as fast as I could. If it were possible for someone to see me just then, they probably would have laughed because I can only imagine how funny that looked. Sob sob, then nothing. Straight face.

Sometimes I feel like this blog is just made up entirely of rants. That it sounds like, feel sorry for me! Feel sorry for me pleeeease! Every time I write on here, I hope to god (or whatever is up there) that no one I know finds this. It would be very eye opening to everyone though.

So, grand parent involvement. This is how the sob started. I just wish I felt like they cared enough to try. Its so half assed, or is it quarter assed? Ha… More like quarter assed. Usually, when children are going through tough times and they know about it, parents are running to assist their children, well, at least good parents do. My parents aren’t even themselves anymore. Ever since they got divorced five years ago its just like well, they think, time for me now and nothing else. Time for me and my significant other. I don’t care if my daughter needs her mom and needs her father, we gave her enough time while she was growing up. Hell, I don’t even care if they spend time with me! Just take the time to spend time with your grandson, he needs you! I just feel really messed up about it sometimes because I know, I KNOW that, if they were still together… they would be here all the time. If they would have stayed together and didn’t run out and find other people, they would be here and be awesome grandparents. I know that might sound selfish, but my mom was especially involved in our lives while we were growing up. She always wanted to spend time with us, us meaning my brother, sister, and I. Whenever I would go and stay at a friends house like on a Friday night, right away in the morning on Saturday she would be like, i’m coming to get you soon. I think its because she was so lonely on weekends because my parents were pretty much leading separate lives, they rarely did anything fun together. Well anyway, so i’m just having a hard time adjusting to my “new” parents. I just really really need them right now. Lennon needs them. I wish they knew that.

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